A Dash of #MondayMotivation

If you're struggling today, just remember nothing lasts forever.Comforting isn’t it? I think so! Because if nothing lasts forever, neither will the struggle, or that icky feeling in the pit of your stomach, or that bad day, bad month, or even bad year. Seasons come and go, and good times are always just around the corner, if you can just focus on this simple, but powerful truth. Happy #MondayMotivation!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Want to be inspirational? Just be REAL.

Hand reaching out with heart in palmIt’s true. I’ve been struggling with something the last few months, and I want to share it with you because I think it’s so important.

While I’ve always known that my passion for inspiring and motivating others never meant I had to be perfect, or problem-free, and that much of what I have to offer to others is actually derived in large part from my pain, in the past I think I held on to this false sense that said pain had to be a little ways in the past when I shared. Largely, I thought I had to have all the answers ready in order to be of any real use to anyone. So I’ve been a little quieter these days. A negative thought, anxiety or doubt? No way! Feeling any less than perfectly Positive Patty? Insanity! There’s no way anyone wants to hear from you now. Silly Sonia.

Then suddenly it hit me. Some of the biggest, brightest, most powerful inspiration is actually found right in the middle of the storm, right in the depths of the sorrow, and perfectly in-between the crevices of the chaos. Sure, it’s easy to share once you’ve figured it all out, once you’ve found your way, once you’ve cleaned up the mess a bit. It’s safer that way. But think, for a second, of the incredible power in sharing right in the middle of the muck, in those raw moments where your story is not nicely tied in a bow, beginning, middle and end. Think of the potential in sharing when you’re filled with doubt, when you’re not really sure about anything at all. Think of how many people could relate to that.

As I recently heard in one of the many awesome public figure commencement speeches going around on social, “Don’t hog your journey. It’s not just for you.” And don’t be afraid of where you might be along that journey. Someone, somewhere, needs to learn right from where you are. Remember, you really don’t have to be Positive Patty to inspire others. You just have to be REAL.

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Accepting and Working Through the Evolution of YOU

Where is my life going?As a highly solutions-based thinker and person, for a long time I thought that once I had it all figured out—who I was, where my issues stemmed from, and what I wanted out of life—that was it, and the rest of it was going to be cake. Ha! Then I turned 30, and subsequently 31, and realized, stubbornly and slowly, that life really is a journey, not a destination.

And with that realization has come an overwhelming need to shift gears a little, and move away (just a temporary step or two) from my accomplishment-obsessed mind to a kinder, gentler version of myself who allows herself more room to slow down, to reevaluate, to change and flex, and to adjust to new ideas, new feelings, and new needs.

Here’s the thing. Last year I thought I had every single last bit of it figured out. I felt unstoppable and invincible. Then relationships fell apart, my safety was compromised, and life got really messy, really fast. Everything that was going on around me (and it was a lot!) had a sneaky little way of making me reevaluate what really matters, including thinking more about basic needs I desperately needed to nurture and pay more attention to (and fast!). These tend to be those small, but critical things we all tend to take for granted in the midst of pushing full steam ahead toward dreams, keeping busy schedules, socializing, juggling, and well, living our lives to the fullest, as they say; things like rest, safety, and balance.

Soon, as the fog began to lift little by little, it became more and more clear to me. Sometimes you really just need to STOP. Give yourself the freedom to pause. Allow yourself to think. Every season in your life is not meant to be lived on a high. Some seasons are for learning, strengthening and shedding the old so that you can come out of the other side of struggle with something so good you couldn’t possibly have dreamed it up before.

Trust me, I know it’s hard. I literally have to talk myself down from that nagging urge to go, go, go all the time, but sometimes, when things start to fall apart, we have to listen to the universe, take a step (or two!) back, and let all the questions and doubts take a good, long swim so that the answers might have a fighting chance at rising to the surface and propelling us into the next adventure. Because you the more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Perhaps one of the most important things to remember through it all is that you do not lose your value in times of confusion and unrest; you do not stop being YOU. You do not stop being strong. You do not forsake all of the progress you’ve made and learning you’ve done until that point. There is positivity in the fight, in never giving up, in forging ahead through the pain, and keeping hope alive for another good (screw that—GREAT) season to come!

So if you find yourself just going THROUGH right now, take a deep breath, and accept that life is beautiful but life is also cyclical. Accept that you are ever-changing and evolving, and so is the life that surrounds us and lives within us. Work through it. Read a lot. Talk it through. Don’t give up on the puzzle just because you’re missing a few pieces, or you’re not sure how the big picture is going to pan out. Keep looking for joy in the small things, and trust that the answers will come. Most of all, just keep swimming!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #2 Live on Amazon

Get Your Self-Love On! My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity I know, I know. Over the last few months, I’ve really left this poor blog terribly abandoned and lonely, but there’s a good reason for that! I’ve been working hard on my second book, and after a year filled with some of my greatest battles for authenticity, I am so excited and proud to present this great little be-you-love-you-flaunt-you handbook to the world!

Check it out!

 

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
(eBook and Paperback):

My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving and Flaunting  Your True Self

***Please note the Kindle and Paperback versions are having a little trouble linking up right now, but they’re both on there, I promise. Just search Sonia Acosta on Amazon!***

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this handbook is your guide to finally putting your foot down, and being who you are, every single piece of it, openly and unapologetically, with great pride and intention, creating more happiness and fulfillment every step of the way. Full of tangible tips to help UP your self-love and confidence game, I take you through my journey to living authentically (and happily!), plus offer tips and tricks to help you on your own path to a more authentic, satisfying life. It’s a short read you can devour in one to two hours max, so pull up a chair, get comfy, grab a drink, and get ready to be INSPIRED to step into the exquisite defiance that is being, loving and flaunting your true self.

I just know you’ll love it! And trust me, this is not your everyday self-love/self-help book. There’s some real raw, tangible stuff to sink your teeth into here!

As always, your support is greatly and humbly appreciated. I hope you enjoy the journey, and find the inspiration to step up and live your own life more authentically and happily!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Storytelling: The Struggle and the Power in Sharing Your Pain

Once Upon a Time...Let me tell you something, folks.

Writing and publishing an eBook about your ex isn’t exactly easy—big surprise there, I know! It took me about 8 months to write, edit and publish My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath, and it’s a relatively short read. Take a full time job and life, and add to that the struggle in typing your pain, detail by detail, memory by memory, beat by beat, and sometimes you end up having to walk away for a few days, maybe even a few weeks before you can even think about stepping back into all of it. Writing the intimate account of what transpired between me and the man who once broke me like no other, and now promoting the eBook, discussing it, and answering questions about it, at times, it takes the breath out of me (I love it though—this is truly my calling!). And still in every moment, I find something much more powerful than all of that struggle. I find healing, both for me and for others. I find meaning. I find new learning, new faith, and new strength.

Confession time! Last night, after working on some book promotions and being consumed by the topic, I had the super bright idea to check his (Eric’s, of course) Instagram—something I had not done since probably January. I scrolled and scrolled knowing that I was looking for trouble, and after about five or 10 minutes, I found it. That’s when I had to put the phone down, and walk away. I grabbed my jacket and headed to my stoop to collect my thoughts and just breathe in the silence. I’m not proud of that slip. BUT, for the first time since all of this mess transpired, I did not cry. I did not shed one, single tear. I did not panic. I did not feel any throbbing pain in my heart. Yes, I felt a little sadness and some uneasiness, but it was nothing compared to what plagued me in the past. And I think I know why. My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath has brought me new healing, and my struggle has brought me new power. I must say, this is a welcome change.

Now I know everyone is not a writer, and certainly everyone is not a mass sharer or storyteller like I am. But today, I want to encourage you to share your story, maybe not to hundreds of people, but to a close a friend, to a family member, to a therapist, to a confidant, maybe even just to yourself, out loud, into the universe and out of your chest. Please don’t let all of that stuff just swim around inside of you, poisoning your spirit, and injecting itself into your everyday potential for happiness and healing. Let it out! Share. Dig deep. Work through those feelings. Work through that story. Get intimate with your thoughts. Don’t pretend the sting isn’t there. Don’t want until it all explodes into one big, messy ball of anxiety and irreparable wounds.

Do it for you, and do it for others. Because although we all walk a distinct journey in life, we all go through many of the same things. We experience many of the same blows, many of the same tears, and many of the same joys. And every time I get a message, a tweet or a text (thank you for all of the LOVE!!) about how My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath helped someone find healing or new understanding, or even simply gave someone something to relate to and find comfort in, I see it all over again—there is so much power in sharing our stories and our struggle.

Regardless of the nature of your pain, there is so much we can learn from each other, so much aching we all have the potential to spare one another through our biggest missteps and lessons learned. And that is what I hope to continue to do as I lay my most intimate pain and triumphs into the pages of every My Funny, Sad Life eBook. Whether its depression, poverty, obesity, love, dating, toxic relationships, sexuality, career, or any other topic, I know that the pain and struggle in every word I type equates to a power much bigger and brighter and more meaningful than any sum of all that yucky stuff.

That’s why I share. To inspire. To open minds. To offer perspective. To create healing. That is why I lay it all out on the line. Because when I’m going through something, big or small, I know there is no bigger relief for me than to read about someone else’s experience and see how they were able to come out on the other side of the pain or struggle victorious and better than ever; to realize that if they survived and thrived, I can and I will, too.

Just consider the opportunity for a moment. Push through that struggle. Share that pain. Free yourself, and help the healing in the process—for you, for me, and for everyone.

With that said, I can’t wait to get out the next two eBooks which will be a little lighter and more fun (touching on authenticity and happiness), until we get back into the hard, hard stuff with the next round. =)

XOXO,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #1 Live on Amazon

MyFunnySadLife_Smaller eBook CoverI AM OFFICIALLY AN AUTHOR Y’ALL! Last night, in a Starbucks at the corner of 36th and Madison in this life-giving city (NYC), one of my long-awaited dreams came true, just a few days shy of my 31st birthday. I published my first book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON (eBook and Paperback):
My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath
Recognizing, Letting Go of & Healing from Toxic Relationships

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this is the true tale of a love gone crazy wrong, and the critical life lessons learned from loving a sociopath. Full of gems that can help anyone experiencing the painful blows of a toxic relationship, this is a story everyone can relate to in some way. It’s a short read, full of inspiration and motivational bites you can devour in just one to two hours. So dive in, and get to learning, laughing, relating and healing! All accounts are based on a very true story.

ALSO COMING SOON:
My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving & Flaunting Your True Self

And there’s lots more where that came from. Future topics will run the gamut from love and relationships, singlehood, obesity, and anxiety and depression, to career, sexuality, happiness, overcoming poverty, and so much more.

I had initially planned to launch only after I finished the first three books in the series, but I was called to get this first story out now, now, now! It’s juicy, y’all.

Your support is greatly and humbly appreciated!

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Coming SOON: My Funny, Sad Life Motivational eBook Series!

Be right back!Hey y’all!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted to the blog, so I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still here—alive and super well.

I’m working hard to launch my motivational eBook series, My Funny, Sad Life (trademark in progress—yay!), hopefully by end of year (universe allowing!), so I decided to give the blog a little bit of a rest. This will allow me to put more of my writing and motivational juices, heart, and spare time (so much great work, so little time!) into the series so I can get this baby OUT to you and the world soon. Initial titles will revolve around love, toxic relationships, happiness, fighting to be your authentic self, and tons of other juicy, life-enhancing, motivational goodness. Every book in the series is meant to be a relatively quick read, 1.5 hours or so, get in, get out, get motivated!

I simply CANNOT wait to share it all with you! Counting on your love and support, as always. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Stay tuned friends!!!

XOXO,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Does Therapy Work? YAAAS! Abso-change-your-life-lutely.

Does Therapy Work? Yaaas!Ever felt like you needed to talk to someone, not friends or family or a partner, but someone completely new, unbiased, and maybe even professionally equipped to really help you figure some things out that continue to bog you down year after year?

Have you then quickly let go of that need and given into the stigma around therapy instead?

“I don’t need therapy. Only crazy people need therapy. Does therapy work? How is talking to a complete stranger going to help me? Therapy is too embarrassing. No. Forget it. I’ll just continue to deal with my issues alone.”

Sounds familiar? That’s OK. It happens. Many of us are afraid to reach out for help even in our darkest hours because we let the stigma around therapy make us feel weak, crazy, inadequate, and lots of others icky things.

Today, I want to tell you how potentially nutty it is to just sit back and watch issues devour your potential happiness and everything around you just to give into this whole silly idea that it matters what other people think. Don’t you want to be freed form your struggles? Don’t you want to smile more? Don’t you want to live, and I mean truly LIVE? Do you know that facing your problems and reaching out for help actually takes a lot of courage?

Stop running away from help, and start thinking about opening your arms to something that could truly change your life for the better, for good. For me, just one year of therapy (I had gone sporadically before, but never really stuck with it) helped me let go of some very deep-rooted issues I had been dealing with my whole life. These were things that were holding me back in relationships, in my fight for happiness and even in my career.

That’s why today I’ve decided to share with you an email I recently sent to my old therapist (if someone has impacted your life in a positive way, no matter how big or how small, please take the time to let them know!) in hopes that it might encourage you to walk away from the stigma and walk into the light of healing instead.

Does therapy work? YAAAS! Abso-change-your-life-lutely. In fact, I’m thinking of finding a therapist in NYC to get a little tune up. This is, after all, a lifetime journey y’all!

XOXO,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hi Mark!

I hope you will remember me—I know it’s been quite a while since our last session (December 2013). I’ve been wanting to send you a note for quite some time now, as I realize more and more every day how everything you taught me still helps me SO much. In fact it even helps me help friends going through similar situations, and that just feels wonderful! Our work together made me forever stronger and more confident, and gave me a lifelong set of tools I use every day to manage my emotions and keep my HAPPY going strong.

About a year ago, I moved to New York City where I am a writer for the Girl Scouts national office, and I really believe it was our work together that gave me the courage to take these next steps in my life (this job has really been a dream!)─leaving Eric behind and slowly healing from that year+ whose lessons are still with me every single day. I can really say I am more settled, more at peace and happier than ever.

I have also been working very hard on my eBook series. I’m on the third book already, and hope to launch the series on Amazon at the end of this year. Your words and advice have helped me to continue to push forward in this endeavor as well, step by step, day by day, and this has been a  blessing as well.

So in conclusion, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I feel freed from so many of the issues of my past (what a relief!). My family and I are getting along great─even my dad and I are on the best terms we’ve ever been, and it is because of what you taught me and talked me through for just one year. How incredible is that?

I hope this email finds you well, happy and healthy, and again thank you so much for what you do. You have an amazing gift, and I am so grateful Katherine sent me to you when she did. I feel certain no other therapist could have done what you did in such a short amount of time. I sing your praises to my friends and champion the power of therapy to anyone who will listen─all the time.

If there is ever anything I can do for you, maybe a testimonial for your website or anything like that, I would be more than happy to contribute in some small way.

THANK YOU!!!!

Sincerely,
Sonia

© Arfabita | Dreamstime.comBreak Out Photo

Mind Over Matter: A Zip Lining Adventure in Costa Rica

Zip Lining in Costa RicaIt was a chilly Tuesday morning in the mountains of Costa Rica and my fifth day in this incredibly inspired place. I was committed to making it count so I kind of, sort of went on a 12-cable zip lining tour through the rain forest in La Fortuna. No big deal, right?!

Wrong! Even just sitting here writing about it now feels almost surreal. I still can’t believe I actually went through with it. You see, I’m that girl who can’t even ride a roller coaster at theme parks – shoot, even Mary-go-rounds give me a little jumpy feeling in my stomach and make me dizzy as all heck. I am not necessarily scared of all heights, but at a certain point, I do start feeling that tickle in my stomach that even a fast car ride will quickly induce in this certainly-not-livin’-on-the-edge gal. I don’t know how to swim or ride a bike, and it took me years to get over an intense phobia of all animals – even the sweetest, cutest little puppy dog could send me into a screaming fit once upon a time. Conclusion? I am a big ol’ scaredy cat –probably as big as they come, my friends.  Still, throughout the years, and throughout my journey to conquer fear and live positively and happily, I have acquired a few skills that have enabled me to stop saying NO and start living with a big, loud YES – mostly the ability to put mind over matter and talk myself through tough or scary situations.

Cue this incredible adventure I almost didn’t go on! I’ve wanted to go zip lining for a long time, but never really had the opportunity to do so. Costa Rica is known for great zip lining terrains, and this is in fact the biggest trip I’ve ever taken. I had to do it. I could never forgive myself if I didn’t. Besides, it was my idea to even make the reservation for my friends and I in the first place. How could I back out?

So off we went (myself and three brave girlfriends). We woke up at the crack of dawn on Tuesday, had our breakfast at the amazing Villa Blanca Cloud Forest Hotel and Nature Reserve in San Ramon (we literally slept in the clouds y’all!), piled in the car with our water bottles and snacks, and headed off on the two hour drive.

We arrived at Mundo Aventura at about 10:30 that morning, paid for the tour, and sat through a quick orientation. Tears of fear were already welling up in my eyes and my stomach was turning, yelling, “Don’t do this, Sonia!” I ignored my stomach’s and heart’s raging pleas, and hopped on the bus that would take us to the start off the tour. It was a 20 minute ride down the bumpiest road you could imagine. Everyone on the bus was hyped, laughing and chit-chatting. Me? I sat there, more pale than I’d ever been in the dead of a Chicago winter, tears falling down my flushed face, feeling absolutely, over-the-moon TER-RI-FIED. Just from looking at me, you might have thought I was being taken to prison or off to my untimely death. I can’t even accurately explain how scared I felt, but I sat there quietly, let the tears fall, and committed myself to the thought that I would in fact go through with this impending madness, no matter what.

After what seemed like an hour instead of just 20 minutes in my tortured state, we arrived at the start of the tour. The guides strapped all of our gear on, and pointed us in the direction of our initial hike up to the first line. It now became increasingly warm, and the thin jacket I had worn in light of the early morning chill in the mountains began to feel like 1,000 pounds on my tense shoulders. Each step forward became more and more riddled with a profound heavy-ness as I realized how freakin’ out of shape I am. Soon the heat, the fear and the struggle to get up each step in the terrain melded together into quite a lovely panic attack. I fell into a squat, crying hysterically, struggling for breathes, blurting out one “I’m sorry” after another. Then, one of the guides gave me some kind of minty leaf to chew on – he said it would calm me down. Thinking about it now, that could have been a pretty dangerous decision, but I was desperate. It did the trick, and I got back up repeating over and over again to myself, “You can do this, Sonia” while my friends cheered me on, one saying, “You’ve gotten through a lot worse!” She was right, so on I marched.

Soon we arrived at the first line, and of course, I let everyone else go ahead of me. Then, there it was, the moment of truth. My legs froze, and I thought there is no way I can actually let go and do this – there is just no way. It was now just me and the last guide on this side of the line. I can’t remember her name now, but she was amazing. The guys on the other side rushed her to get me on the line as she pleaded with them to give her a minute to talk me through it. As she kindly asked me to make a decision, I thought of my friends, already on the other side of the line. I thought of how much I had wanted to do this. I thought about how awful that failure would feel if I backed out now. And suddenly I realized there is no way I could let this get the best of me.

As the folks on the other side became increasingly impatient with my indecision, the nice girl offered to go with me, and I was sold. In that instant, I forgot about everything that was holding me back, and I just stepped off that ledge screaming at the top of my lungs, “Pura viiiiiiiiida!,” or “pure life,” a common greeting in Costa Rica akin to “hakuna matata.” I got to the other side, still pretty terrified, but absolutely thrilled. I had done it!!! I had conquered the fear, put mind over matter, and I had found the strength to let go. I had allowed the sense of who I am in life – a doer, a go getter, a ballsy badass B, and I had ran with it, despite a deep-rooted feeling that this wasn’t the type of thing Sonia does. Thinking about it now, it’s the same thought that has forged me through all of the scary decisions in my life – the perception of who I am versus who I want to be. I don’t want to be someone who is scared, someone who quits, someone who walks away every time it gets hard, so I won’t be. Simple as that.

Anyway, all I had to do now was get through the same thing 11 more times! Sh*t! Well, there was no turning back now, so off I went on every cable, each one higher and faster than the last, screaming at the top of my lungs each time. But by about the fifth cable something amazing started to happen. I started to unclench a little, feeling the awesome breeze in my face, and taking in the enormity of where I was at that moment – just flying through the trees like a bird, like a veritable badass. I had never felt more connected to the universe and to God than on that zip lining tour in those majestic mountains full of promise, hope and courage. What an amazing freakin’ day it was! I will remember every breath of it forever. I can’t even imagine how it would have felt to have given all of that up for fear. During those 3 or 4 hours, I was challenged physically, mentally and spiritually, but in the end, all that matters is that I got through it all. 

So let’s recap here, shall we? Next time you’re scared or hesitant to take a leap of faith, stop worrying about what could happen or who you think you aren’t, and focus instead on the kind of person you want to be, on how you’re going to feel when you get to the other side of that proverbial zip line. Don’t think about all of the things that are making you panic and telling you to turn back, to quit. Whatever you do, just don’t. Instead, forge forward. Talk yourself through it. Focus on the possibilities, not on the fear. And always, always remember, mind over matter can get you there because you are capable, you are strong, and you are worthy!

And now, for your personal entertainment pleasure (laugh at me, it’s OK, I did!), here’s a video of me nearing the end of that very first line.

Today, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to take this amazing trip and have this incredible adventure, and I am even more grateful for that spark inside of me that rarely lets me back down. Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope it has given you a spoonful of inspiration for your week!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Why Do I Choose HAPPY?

HAPPY is a ChoiceQuestion.

Do you ever find that you’ve become so accustomed to the way you live your life, or the choices you make each day, that you completely forget where those decisions even came from?

Well. I just totally had one of those moments where I felt the blood rushing hard through my veins, my heart pounding fast with the sting of forgotten pain. And suddenly I remembered. There’s such a big reason I choose HAPPY with every breath. There’s a reason I celebrate even the smallest joys, why I always make so many plans, and why I stay busy, busy, busy. There’s a reason that I choose to live my life positively and full of color – why I am committed to being myself no matter what anyone says. There’s a reason why I choose kindness over hate. There’s a reason I choose HAPPY. There’s a huge reason.

That reason is, unequivocally, my past.

It almost feels weird. I’m at a place in my life where I just feel good – maybe not every second of every day, but in an overwhelming majority of moments – I just feel fucking great. Woooo – just fucking great. And it never gets old. Closing my eyes and soaking in that pure feeling of HAPPY is sometimes all I need to feel even happier, because I never truly forget, whether consciously or unconsciously, what it’s like to be on the other side.

I’ve done the work. I’ve been through the therapy. I’ve tackled the ugly stuff. I’ve matured. I’ve wised up. I’ve learned to love myself fiercely. I’ve learned to let go faster. I’ve learned not to wait for others to provide me with HAPPY. I’ve learned to find it in the simplest of things instead of waiting for the earth to move to crack a smile. I’ve just learned, man. I’m not lost or confused. I know exactly who I am, and with the exception of a few things I can’t control, when I really want something, I know exactly how to go out and get it – and nothing short of Jesus himself can stop me. I might not have everything I want by a long shot, but I have everything I need and more. I am HAPPY, and most importantly, I am grateful all-the-time.

But let me tell you. HAPPY didn’t just fall out of the sky one day and slap me in the face. I chose it. I am dedicated to it. I practice it. I insist on it. It’s something I pay close attention to on a daily basis – something I nurture, because to me, it’s the only way I believe in living. And when I have my slips, I fight. I kick and I scream, and I fight. Until I get my HAPPY back again, I fight.

Growing up, there was a lot of lacking – lacking of HAPPY, lacking of celebration, lacking of encouragement, lacking of positivity – of exposure, of control, of freedom. I lacked financially and emotionally. I lacked mentors and options. I lacked in possibility. I lacked warmth. I lacked joy. Everything was hard, negative and dark. Everything was a reason to fight or punch a hole in a wall – a reason to be scared, a reason to be closed. Holidays were quiet and sad. There was very little celebration. There was little to break up the monotony, little flexibility, little to speak of dreaming. Instead there was fear, and NO, and impossibility thinking. And even into my early to mid 20s, I suffered from some pretty terrible bouts of depression and anxiety to boot.

So yes, I am corny as all heck – I know it. I celebrate like nobody’s business. I’m always running from here to there to here. I’m loud and colorful and boisterous. I feel everything. I savor everything. I live everything. I say everything. I’m obsessed with positivity, with light, with love. I live inspired, and I’m always on that motivation tip. As much and as often as possible, I choose HAPPY.

But it’s not because I’m a diva, or I think I’m more amazing or deserving than anyone else. It’s not because I’m cray cray or obnoxious or spoiled, or anything of the sort. It’s because, a long time ago, I made a choice. I was going to leave all that ugly, negative shit behind. I was going to be different. I was going to do better. I was going to live with love and light, and BE love and light. I was going to celebrate. I was going to do me. I was going to LIVE. I was going to choose HAPPY.

And you know what? I wouldn’t give up any of it – not even the ugliness that came before the dawn. I wouldn’t change a single thing. In fact, I am beyond grateful for all of it. Because suddenly it occurs to me – who knows where I’d be if things had been different?

Want to know more about choosing HAPPY? I’m all ears!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie