You thought I was going to say, “Livin’ la vida loca,” didn’t sha? Well, sometimes I live la vida loca, but mostly I live la vida hyper emotional. I know I can’t be the only person out there who feels every single little thing with the same fervor and passion I’d say most people reserve for the big, life-changing situations, so I thought I’d write a little somethin’ something’ about it.
The older I get, the more I learn to embrace the fact that I am most definitely, without a doubt, what some might call an emotional slut, an emotion-aholic, and my least favorite and perhaps least accurate, a drama queen.
Here again, I am pulled back to that concept of constantly fighting to be your authentic self. We live in a world where masking emotions and pretending you are super, unrealistically together all the time is acceptable and for the most part, encouraged. But how can you live an authentic life if you continuously pretend just to fit into the masquerade ball we live in?
It’s not that I don’t think my hyper emotional character isn’t a tad problematic at times, it definitely is. It is without a doubt one of my least and most favorite things about myself, although I’ve learned to manage it pretty well. While overwhelming amounts of passion, worry, internal analysis, and self-reflection can be incredibly exhausting to the say the absolute least, it can also give you an immense amount of power over your life and add great color to your every-day, hum-drum experiences.
When you feel more, you can also appreciate more of the little things like finding a great parking space, having a nice conversation with a stranger, or finding a quarter on the street. I might get hurt and disappointed more often than others, but I also love harder, dream bigger and celebrate more. I can make myself laugh, talk myself through a hard situation, and feel passionate about my day, and my life, with more ease.
So what if you’re emotions are a little promiscuous? Try and embrace it as a strength and stop punishing yourself thinking it’s a weakness. The ability to really feel and communicate those feelings to others takes an incredible amount of strength and self-awareness that a lot of people simply do not have, or constantly try and diminish for the sake of looking like Hercules on Xanax.
Be a little more cliché, and smell the damn flowers, smile more, cry when the tears come, allow yourself to be angry when there is something to be angry about. The more honest you are with yourself about how you really feel, the more you can enjoy the good emotions when they visit, and work through the not so thrilling ones when they barge in, like, “I’d really like to kick that guy in the face.”
So yeah, I’m definitely livin’ la vida hyper emotional, but I get more out of it that way. If you are too, put your arms around that sucker and hug it, instead of trying to run from it. And if you’re just completely on the other side of the spectrum livin’ la vida emotionally suppressed, let those poor bastards [your feelings] out for a breather once in a while. They are begging you for the break.
Sonia, Word Share Junkie