Writing and publishing an eBook about your ex isn’t exactly easy—big surprise there, I know! It took me about 8 months to write, edit and publish My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath, and it’s a relatively short read. Take a full time job and life, and add to that the struggle in typing your pain, detail by detail, memory by memory, beat by beat, and sometimes you end up having to walk away for a few days, maybe even a few weeks before you can even think about stepping back into all of it. Writing the intimate account of what transpired between me and the man who once broke me like no other, and now promoting the eBook, discussing it, and answering questions about it, at times, it takes the breath out of me (I love it though—this is truly my calling!). And still in every moment, I find something much more powerful than all of that struggle. I find healing, both for me and for others. I find meaning. I find new learning, new faith, and new strength.
Confession time! Last night, after working on some book promotions and being consumed by the topic, I had the super bright idea to check his (Eric’s, of course) Instagram—something I had not done since probably January. I scrolled and scrolled knowing that I was looking for trouble, and after about five or 10 minutes, I found it. That’s when I had to put the phone down, and walk away. I grabbed my jacket and headed to my stoop to collect my thoughts and just breathe in the silence. I’m not proud of that slip. BUT, for the first time since all of this mess transpired, I did not cry. I did not shed one, single tear. I did not panic. I did not feel any throbbing pain in my heart. Yes, I felt a little sadness and some uneasiness, but it was nothing compared to what plagued me in the past. And I think I know why. My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath has brought me new healing, and my struggle has brought me new power. I must say, this is a welcome change.
Now I know everyone is not a writer, and certainly everyone is not a mass sharer or storyteller like I am. But today, I want to encourage you to share your story, maybe not to hundreds of people, but to a close a friend, to a family member, to a therapist, to a confidant, maybe even just to yourself, out loud, into the universe and out of your chest. Please don’t let all of that stuff just swim around inside of you, poisoning your spirit, and injecting itself into your everyday potential for happiness and healing. Let it out! Share. Dig deep. Work through those feelings. Work through that story. Get intimate with your thoughts. Don’t pretend the sting isn’t there. Don’t want until it all explodes into one big, messy ball of anxiety and irreparable wounds.
Do it for you, and do it for others. Because although we all walk a distinct journey in life, we all go through many of the same things. We experience many of the same blows, many of the same tears, and many of the same joys. And every time I get a message, a tweet or a text (thank you for all of the LOVE!!) about how My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath helped someone find healing or new understanding, or even simply gave someone something to relate to and find comfort in, I see it all over again—there is so much power in sharing our stories and our struggle.
Regardless of the nature of your pain, there is so much we can learn from each other, so much aching we all have the potential to spare one another through our biggest missteps and lessons learned. And that is what I hope to continue to do as I lay my most intimate pain and triumphs into the pages of every My Funny, Sad Life eBook. Whether its depression, poverty, obesity, love, dating, toxic relationships, sexuality, career, or any other topic, I know that the pain and struggle in every word I type equates to a power much bigger and brighter and more meaningful than any sum of all that yucky stuff.
That’s why I share. To inspire. To open minds. To offer perspective. To create healing. That is why I lay it all out on the line. Because when I’m going through something, big or small, I know there is no bigger relief for me than to read about someone else’s experience and see how they were able to come out on the other side of the pain or struggle victorious and better than ever; to realize that if they survived and thrived, I can and I will, too.
Just consider the opportunity for a moment. Push through that struggle. Share that pain. Free yourself, and help the healing in the process—for you, for me, and for everyone.
With that said, I can’t wait to get out the next two eBooks which will be a little lighter and more fun (touching on authenticity and happiness), until we get back into the hard, hard stuff with the next round. =)
Sonia, Word Share Junkie