My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #2 Live on Amazon

Get Your Self-Love On! My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity I know, I know. Over the last few months, I’ve really left this poor blog terribly abandoned and lonely, but there’s a good reason for that! I’ve been working hard on my second book, and after a year filled with some of my greatest battles for authenticity, I am so excited and proud to present this great little be-you-love-you-flaunt-you handbook to the world!

Check it out!

 

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
(eBook and Paperback):

My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving and Flaunting  Your True Self

***Please note the Kindle and Paperback versions are having a little trouble linking up right now, but they’re both on there, I promise. Just search Sonia Acosta on Amazon!***

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this handbook is your guide to finally putting your foot down, and being who you are, every single piece of it, openly and unapologetically, with great pride and intention, creating more happiness and fulfillment every step of the way. Full of tangible tips to help UP your self-love and confidence game, I take you through my journey to living authentically (and happily!), plus offer tips and tricks to help you on your own path to a more authentic, satisfying life. It’s a short read you can devour in one to two hours max, so pull up a chair, get comfy, grab a drink, and get ready to be INSPIRED to step into the exquisite defiance that is being, loving and flaunting your true self.

I just know you’ll love it! And trust me, this is not your everyday self-love/self-help book. There’s some real raw, tangible stuff to sink your teeth into here!

As always, your support is greatly and humbly appreciated. I hope you enjoy the journey, and find the inspiration to step up and live your own life more authentically and happily!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #1 Live on Amazon

MyFunnySadLife_Smaller eBook CoverI AM OFFICIALLY AN AUTHOR Y’ALL! Last night, in a Starbucks at the corner of 36th and Madison in this life-giving city (NYC), one of my long-awaited dreams came true, just a few days shy of my 31st birthday. I published my first book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON (eBook and Paperback):
My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath
Recognizing, Letting Go of & Healing from Toxic Relationships

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this is the true tale of a love gone crazy wrong, and the critical life lessons learned from loving a sociopath. Full of gems that can help anyone experiencing the painful blows of a toxic relationship, this is a story everyone can relate to in some way. It’s a short read, full of inspiration and motivational bites you can devour in just one to two hours. So dive in, and get to learning, laughing, relating and healing! All accounts are based on a very true story.

ALSO COMING SOON:
My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving & Flaunting Your True Self

And there’s lots more where that came from. Future topics will run the gamut from love and relationships, singlehood, obesity, and anxiety and depression, to career, sexuality, happiness, overcoming poverty, and so much more.

I had initially planned to launch only after I finished the first three books in the series, but I was called to get this first story out now, now, now! It’s juicy, y’all.

Your support is greatly and humbly appreciated!

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Why Do I Choose HAPPY?

HAPPY is a ChoiceQuestion.

Do you ever find that you’ve become so accustomed to the way you live your life, or the choices you make each day, that you completely forget where those decisions even came from?

Well. I just totally had one of those moments where I felt the blood rushing hard through my veins, my heart pounding fast with the sting of forgotten pain. And suddenly I remembered. There’s such a big reason I choose HAPPY with every breath. There’s a reason I celebrate even the smallest joys, why I always make so many plans, and why I stay busy, busy, busy. There’s a reason that I choose to live my life positively and full of color – why I am committed to being myself no matter what anyone says. There’s a reason why I choose kindness over hate. There’s a reason I choose HAPPY. There’s a huge reason.

That reason is, unequivocally, my past.

It almost feels weird. I’m at a place in my life where I just feel good – maybe not every second of every day, but in an overwhelming majority of moments – I just feel fucking great. Woooo – just fucking great. And it never gets old. Closing my eyes and soaking in that pure feeling of HAPPY is sometimes all I need to feel even happier, because I never truly forget, whether consciously or unconsciously, what it’s like to be on the other side.

I’ve done the work. I’ve been through the therapy. I’ve tackled the ugly stuff. I’ve matured. I’ve wised up. I’ve learned to love myself fiercely. I’ve learned to let go faster. I’ve learned not to wait for others to provide me with HAPPY. I’ve learned to find it in the simplest of things instead of waiting for the earth to move to crack a smile. I’ve just learned, man. I’m not lost or confused. I know exactly who I am, and with the exception of a few things I can’t control, when I really want something, I know exactly how to go out and get it – and nothing short of Jesus himself can stop me. I might not have everything I want by a long shot, but I have everything I need and more. I am HAPPY, and most importantly, I am grateful all-the-time.

But let me tell you. HAPPY didn’t just fall out of the sky one day and slap me in the face. I chose it. I am dedicated to it. I practice it. I insist on it. It’s something I pay close attention to on a daily basis – something I nurture, because to me, it’s the only way I believe in living. And when I have my slips, I fight. I kick and I scream, and I fight. Until I get my HAPPY back again, I fight.

Growing up, there was a lot of lacking – lacking of HAPPY, lacking of celebration, lacking of encouragement, lacking of positivity – of exposure, of control, of freedom. I lacked financially and emotionally. I lacked mentors and options. I lacked in possibility. I lacked warmth. I lacked joy. Everything was hard, negative and dark. Everything was a reason to fight or punch a hole in a wall – a reason to be scared, a reason to be closed. Holidays were quiet and sad. There was very little celebration. There was little to break up the monotony, little flexibility, little to speak of dreaming. Instead there was fear, and NO, and impossibility thinking. And even into my early to mid 20s, I suffered from some pretty terrible bouts of depression and anxiety to boot.

So yes, I am corny as all heck – I know it. I celebrate like nobody’s business. I’m always running from here to there to here. I’m loud and colorful and boisterous. I feel everything. I savor everything. I live everything. I say everything. I’m obsessed with positivity, with light, with love. I live inspired, and I’m always on that motivation tip. As much and as often as possible, I choose HAPPY.

But it’s not because I’m a diva, or I think I’m more amazing or deserving than anyone else. It’s not because I’m cray cray or obnoxious or spoiled, or anything of the sort. It’s because, a long time ago, I made a choice. I was going to leave all that ugly, negative shit behind. I was going to be different. I was going to do better. I was going to live with love and light, and BE love and light. I was going to celebrate. I was going to do me. I was going to LIVE. I was going to choose HAPPY.

And you know what? I wouldn’t give up any of it – not even the ugliness that came before the dawn. I wouldn’t change a single thing. In fact, I am beyond grateful for all of it. Because suddenly it occurs to me – who knows where I’d be if things had been different?

Want to know more about choosing HAPPY? I’m all ears!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Monday Morning Rhyme: How Do You Know?

Monday Morning RhymeHow do you tell a racing mind to walk steady?
How do you tell a soul burning with wild dreams, the world isn’t ready?
How do you tell a heart full of passion to feel less heavy?
How do you tell a dream laced with certainty and riddled with obstacle, the time is not now?

How do you cling on to hope when the clock keeps ticking away from you?
How do you stay true to a vision that constantly makes a mockery of everything you feel to be so true?
How do you quiet the doubt and the fear when they speak so damn loud?
How do you scream a scream piercing enough to be heard over that ever expansive, ever hateful crowd?

How do you know you’ll ever get where you’re trying to go?
How do you know you won’t cripple in failure before you reach that goal?
How do you know you’ll find the strength to endure all the ways it can go so wrong?
How do you know you’ll get past the melody and write your life’s song?

How do you know you don’t already possess everything you need to make a real change?
How do you know a good dose of faith and humility won’t be enough to make it that final stretch?
How do you know you don’t need to have all the answers to get to the top of the stairs?
How do you know hope, hustle and grit won’t get you there?

Happy Monday!

Love,
Word Share Junkie

Grit and Glory: The Battle of Intelligence vs. Grit

Grit and Glory: Hello. I am a survivor.

I absolutely love TED talks. These days it seems I hardly go a day without listening to at least one or two. And each time, I am inspired and reinvigorated to dig a little deeper and push a little farther than I had previously thought I had it in me to do that day.

I find hope, reassurance and energy in every talk. It’s the kind of stuff I truly believe we could all use more of on the daily; real, eye-opening, often sensitive, and perspective-filled content that helps us to live better, to be more open and to experience life, if only for a few minutes, through the words and circumstances of others so that we can learn to be a better version of ourselves.

And, although I don’t think I’ve ever disliked a TED talk, the one I came across today has to be one of my absolute favorites. Go ahead. Trust me. It’s more than worth the six or so minutes.

Angela Lee Duckworth: The key to success? Grit.

There you have it. Grit and glory, baby! Grits are in fact a higher indicator of success than intelligence – I’ve always suspected it, but it’s nice to have a trained psychologist confirm it. In fact, I’ve written on a similar topic before related to a study I came across a few years ago. Grit (and hope) is the reason I’ve arrived anywhere in life. It’s how I made it into graduate school twice even though I’m a terrible standardized test taker (I mean, TERRIBLE). It’s the reason I completed an MBA with honors despite my more than lackluster ability with numbers. It’s how I’ve managed to become pretty tech savvy and contribute more at work. It’s the reason I’ve found my way through difficult economic times. It’s the reason I’ve been successful in my career (success has a different meaning for each of us). My driving force, grit and glory!

It’s how I’ve overcome the extreme shyness I experienced as a child and as an adolescent. It’s how I’ve conquered the emotional issues of my past. And its how I’ve slowly moved away from the statistic I could have easily become and the poverty I was born into (although very first-world in nature). It’s how I’ve managed to do and experience the things that often seemed out of my reach in my previous poor-girl mentality. Yup. You guessed it. Grit and glory!

It’s the reason I’ve accomplished or finished anything in my life – not because I’m smart enough to be a rocket scientist (yeah right!) as many of my schoolmates back in high school would say when they wanted to flatter me into helping them with homework or a big project – but because I have GRIT and lots of it. I never give up. I never take no for an answer if I really want something bad enough. I always find my way. I research. I figure it out. I stay up late. I wake up early. I ask questions. I dig. If this doesn’t work, I’ll try that. I examine all possibilities. And I get it done, whatever it is, and I get it done well. Dare I repeat – grit and glory!

So the next time someone tells you you’re not smart enough, or the next time you start to tell yourself that – I don’t want to hear it. Remember this TED talk and my subsequent rant, and remember that passion and perseverance – or grit – can get you there every time. No excuses, just hustle, grit and glory!

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Valentine’s Day: Attention Single Ladies & Gents

Valentine's Day Heart

So it’s Valentine’s Day. Your surroundings, your TVs, your radio and your computer screens are uncontrollably puking red and pink hearts, chocolates, flowers, mushy words and sentiments, etc., etc., ETC, and you simply can’t escape it. It’s Valentines Day!

There you are, still single, and you begin to feel sorry for yourself when this day starts to seem like it was created solely to destroy you. Well my friends, don’t be sad. 

Instead, look around you. I mean, really LOOK. Take notice of all of the different kinds of love you DO have in your life on Valentine’s Day and every day – from friends, family, pets, the universe, and most importantly, from the almighty you. Love comes in many different shapes and sizes, and being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t at all equate to being loveless, just like being attached on this day doesn’t always equate to more love or even more happiness.

So this Valentine’s Day and every single one to come, I urge you to say “thank you” to your singleness for as long as it’s there. Thank it for giving you the time and energy to fulfill your dreams and aspirations. Praise it for all of the lessons and the patience it has awarded you with. Kiss it for helping you to not settle for the wrong person, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Thank it, cherish it, take advantage of it, travel with it, laugh with it, be free with it, drink it up with a nice apple martini or a cold beer. Take it out to dance, sit with it at a great movie, hug it, flirt with it, sleep sprawled across the bed with it, enjoy it. When it’s gone, I have a suspicious little feeling you will miss it a bit, even dare I say, on Valentine’s Day! I know I will.

Happy V-Day ya’ll, and never give up hope! Just live your life, and all that mushy, gooey, good stuff will come when it’s supposed to.  Being single isn’t tragic. Like all of life’s seasons, its beautiful in its own right.

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost, They Are Alive

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

Not all those who wander are lost. It’s a line from the poem All that is gold does not glitter, written by J.R.R. Tolkien for the Lord of the Rings. I’ve never actually seen any of those movies, I know, GASP, but I came across the quote somewhere in social media land today, and I thought, aha! Isn’t that the beauty of the digital age we live in? You can catch small, but meaningful gems at every random click of your mouse. I’m corny, and I know it. Also, I love it. Anyway, here it is:

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

That line is so true. Not all those who wander are lost. Some of us have a “nasty” little habit of constant daydreaming, planning, searching, looking – for a little spark, for a new adventure, for a fresh accomplishment, and that some of us is definitely, unequivocally, me. But it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m lost.

All my life, I’ve heard things like:

“You’ll just make yourself unhappy by expecting so much out of life.”

“You have food, water and shelter. What else do you need?” (I’m so serious. I was totally told this at 17.)

“You’re restless. That’s bad for you. Just sit.”

“Oh, stop being crazy. Stop trying to be a hero.”

Despite the nags, I’ve always pushed for more, questioned things, searched for progress, and I strive to move forward in some small way every chance I get. If you’re anything like me, and people also tell you to stop daydreaming, or just settle for what you have, stop being ungrateful, or that you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment, I invite you to take a stand with me, and yell, not all those who wander are lost! 

Try new things. If they don’t work or you fail at a new venture, try something else. Keep moving forward and searching. Make a little tweak here. Make a little tweak there. Never settle. Don’t listen to fear or failure. They are your teachers, your friends, and your road to glory. They are not your enemies. Don’t let anyone make you impossible-minded. Always stay possible-minded and forge ahead. Figure out a way to get where you want to go. Don’t let the passing of time without successes deter you. Triumph rarely happens in a day.

And when you achieve one goal, set the next. Always strive for improvement. Always find new things to excite you and fulfill you. It’s not frivolous or ungrateful, and it doesn’t even mean that you’re entirely unhappy with your current situation. But there is so much to experience in life, why stop at the now?

The day you stop daydreaming, planning, hoping and wishing, I suggest you check your pulse. All those who wander are not lost, baby. They are ALIVE.

Happy, motivated Tuesday ya’ll.

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Live. Learn. Do Better.13 Awesome 2013 Life Lessons!

13 Awesome 2013 Life Lessons

Whoa! It has been WEEKS  since I’ve written. You know how it goes. The holidays tend to derail us from many of our regular routines especially with travel, family and all that good stuff. The good news is I just couldn’t let the year slip by without offering a little last-minute inspiration.

Here are 13 awesome lessons from 2013. It’s sort of a culmination of everything I’ve written about this year. You might have learned some of these lessons already, and others might offer a little something new to think about, I hope! Enjoy, and have a fun, wonderful and safe NYE! Thanks for reading in 2013!

Life Lessons #1: Settling is only a temporary fix. Hold out for the thing you really want, even if it seems incredibly far away.

Sometimes we chose to settle because it hurts too much to keep waiting for the thing we truly want, or because we feel like we will never find it. Whether it’s in love, in career, or in general life, settling might give you a temporary sense of relief and security, but in the long run, you will end up more unhappy than if you had just held out a little longer, and waited for it to be truly right and satisfying. Like they say, often people give up right before they were about to achieve success. Hang in there. Don’t settle!!

Life Lessons #2: Stop going to the hardware store for milk!

I learned this one from a mentor, and it is truly a glorious lesson in all its simplicity.

Stop going to people or places that you already know, from beating that dead horse one too many times, will not yield the desired results. For me, this year, that really translated into forcing myself to stop going to a proven toxic person and expecting love, understanding and compassion. It’s not there. That hardware store will never have milk in stock! Stop it. Just stop it.

Life Lessons #3: Love is real.

Love isn’t easy to find or maintain. Love is messy and riddled with imperfection. But this year, attending the wedding of my friends Sophia and Ross (a story of international love), taught me that love is real and can exist purely between two people despite distance, barriers and complications.

When love exists, there are no excuses, no pretences, no distances too large or obstacles too high. You should never have to beg for it, work endlessly to make it work, or constantly be on edge about it. Real, healthy love will just flow. It will have its bumps in the road, but it will always find its way. When it’s right, it will not be so hard. Wait for it to be right. Anything else is just a waste of heart and energy.

Life Lessons #4: A narcissist only wants an object’s adoration, not the actual object.

This one also came from a mentor, and it has served as a great reminder for me. I do think it’s rare and sometimes hard to spot, but the world has a fair share of folks who truly care about nothing but themselves. These are folks who will manipulate you, play games with you, and do just about anything to feel your adoration and feed their ego. But, they don’t truly want you, only the attention you offer them. Stay alert, and when you feel this happening, run. Run fast.

Life Lessons #5: Standing up for yourself is not mean. Its right, and it’s necessary.

It’s taken me quite a long time to understand that standing up for myself does not make me mean. You have to do it, because no one else is going to do it for you. Standing up for yourself takes strength, conviction, and self-love. Stop worrying that you’re being mean, and just do it when it becomes necessary. Others will respect you more for it, and you will respect yourself immensely for it as well.

Life Lessons #6: Not everyone in your life belongs in it, and that’s OK.

It can be a sad realization that some of your current friends are not a positive influence in your life, but hey, it’s called growth. People outgrow each other. It’s natural and a necessary part of building the life you want surrounded by the energy that will help you maintain your well-being.

Life Lessons #7: You CAN learn to stretch your money a little farther if you just pay attention to your spending.

I struggle with money mostly because of sizeable debt. But hey, who doesn’t? The good news is this year, I’ve really learned that if I just pay more attention, that if I do not charge things I know I cannot pay off in the upcoming month and if I charge things that I know I can, if I just say “no” to unnecessary spending, that bank account doesn’t look quite as sad three days before payday as it once did.

Just pay attention, don’t give in to every spending whim you have, and watch that check stretch a little bit farther every time. Stop thinking so negatively about money and  somehow it will just work itself out.

Life Lessons #8: Time does heal wounds, but you have to give it time.

You will never get over something or someone, if you don’t muster up the strength to walk away and give it the time it needs. Stop picking that wound while pouring salt on it. Walk away, cry it out, let yourself feel the pain. Give time a little time. It will be OK. But if you don’t walk away, the pain will never end.

Life Lessons #9: Being happy takes an everyday fight. It doesn’t just happen.

Life is complicated, and there are many things on a daily basis that are just out of our control. But there is also a lot you can control. You have to put the effort into your happiness. You have to wake up and choose to be positive about the events of your day, push yourself to get to that gym and eat that healthy dinner, make an effort to connect with friends. Fight for it, don’t just sit around and wait for it.

If you feel sad, push yourself even harder to get up, get out, be productive, and not give in to feeling low.

Life Lessons #10: There will be great years, there will be just good years and there will be hard years. But all of them can still yield important lessons, delicious laughter and much-needed growth.

Not every year is going to rock. This year was not my favorite by far. But there were still a lot of good times, laughs, lessons, and a whole lot of growth. Learn to appreciate those things. Be grateful for the good that comes out of the bad. And keep remembering that tomorrow is a new day, and today, tomorrow is a brand new year!

Life Lessons #11: Don’t get overwhelmed by the size of a goal, and give up. Take it one step at a time, and celebrate small accomplishments.

Sometimes we get overwhelmed by the size of a goal we want to accomplish, and decide it is just easier to give up. Try and set up your goals in more digestible, small steps, attacking one piece at a time. Celebrate every time you get past one small step. If all you can see is 0 to 100, you will always feel defeated.

Life Lessons #12: You have to take care of yourself first in order to have anything to give to others.

It’s not selfish. You have to take care of yourself; of your well-being, your health, your mind, your heart, you life. When you are at your best, you are able to offer your best to others. Constantly focusing outside of ourselves can sometimes leave us with nothing to give. Take care of yourself, and do it well. Never, ever feel guilty about that. It benefits you and  everyone around you.

Life Lessons #13: Be kind, and the kindness will always find it’s way back to you.

There are a million good reasons to practice kindness in our every day lives and interactions. But if you want to focus on just one, realize that what you put out into the universe is likely to come back at you. Be a friend, and when you need one, there will be on there for you. Help someone in need, and when you are in need, someone will appear to offer you that same hand. Be understanding, and when you need someone to understand you, that understanding is likely to come out of some corner, somehow, some way.

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Dream Juice: Fueling Your Dreams with Hope

Just a little dream juice for this lovely Tuesday afternoon.

Don’t get frustrated. Never give up. Just keep on taking those little steps with a big heart full of even bigger goals, dreams, and faith, and you will get there.  At least that’s my story, and damn it, I’m sticking to it! Stick with me?

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Dream Juice: Fueling Your Dreams with Hope