My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #2 Live on Amazon

Get Your Self-Love On! My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity I know, I know. Over the last few months, I’ve really left this poor blog terribly abandoned and lonely, but there’s a good reason for that! I’ve been working hard on my second book, and after a year filled with some of my greatest battles for authenticity, I am so excited and proud to present this great little be-you-love-you-flaunt-you handbook to the world!

Check it out!

 

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
(eBook and Paperback):

My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving and Flaunting  Your True Self

***Please note the Kindle and Paperback versions are having a little trouble linking up right now, but they’re both on there, I promise. Just search Sonia Acosta on Amazon!***

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this handbook is your guide to finally putting your foot down, and being who you are, every single piece of it, openly and unapologetically, with great pride and intention, creating more happiness and fulfillment every step of the way. Full of tangible tips to help UP your self-love and confidence game, I take you through my journey to living authentically (and happily!), plus offer tips and tricks to help you on your own path to a more authentic, satisfying life. It’s a short read you can devour in one to two hours max, so pull up a chair, get comfy, grab a drink, and get ready to be INSPIRED to step into the exquisite defiance that is being, loving and flaunting your true self.

I just know you’ll love it! And trust me, this is not your everyday self-love/self-help book. There’s some real raw, tangible stuff to sink your teeth into here!

As always, your support is greatly and humbly appreciated. I hope you enjoy the journey, and find the inspiration to step up and live your own life more authentically and happily!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #1 Live on Amazon

MyFunnySadLife_Smaller eBook CoverI AM OFFICIALLY AN AUTHOR Y’ALL! Last night, in a Starbucks at the corner of 36th and Madison in this life-giving city (NYC), one of my long-awaited dreams came true, just a few days shy of my 31st birthday. I published my first book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON (eBook and Paperback):
My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath
Recognizing, Letting Go of & Healing from Toxic Relationships

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this is the true tale of a love gone crazy wrong, and the critical life lessons learned from loving a sociopath. Full of gems that can help anyone experiencing the painful blows of a toxic relationship, this is a story everyone can relate to in some way. It’s a short read, full of inspiration and motivational bites you can devour in just one to two hours. So dive in, and get to learning, laughing, relating and healing! All accounts are based on a very true story.

ALSO COMING SOON:
My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving & Flaunting Your True Self

And there’s lots more where that came from. Future topics will run the gamut from love and relationships, singlehood, obesity, and anxiety and depression, to career, sexuality, happiness, overcoming poverty, and so much more.

I had initially planned to launch only after I finished the first three books in the series, but I was called to get this first story out now, now, now! It’s juicy, y’all.

Your support is greatly and humbly appreciated!

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

14 Life Lessons Learned and Relearned in 2014

Run Into 2015 with a Few Important Life LessonsIt’s the last day of the year, and we’re all summarizing, dissecting, evaluating the last 12 months in our heads. Was it a good year, did we acquire any new life lessons, did we accomplish something new, did we lose, did we win – how’d it go?

For me, 2014 was such a great year that I’m almost sad to see it go – it’s truly amazing how much can change in the span of one orbit around the sun! In Sonia’s world, 2014 was a year of renewed strength, of change, of battling fear – and dare I say winning! – of adventure, of laughter and lots of action. Now that I talk about it, I think I need a nap – but one of those my heart and belly are so full that I could use a good snuggle-to-bask-in-the-glory-of- it-all naps. But since I have to get ready to go out and bid farewell to this incredible year, I’ll stay awake instead and share some life lessons I learned and relearned this year – hopefully they can bring you a little insight to run into 2015 with.

Here we go!

Life Lessons #1: The healing process is greatly aided when you make a decision to move on, make plans to help in that decision, and stick to them like your life depends on it – because well, it does.

Life Lessons #2: You never truly forget someone you once loved, but you CAN find ways to move on and focus on lessons rather than on negatives. You can come out of pain victorious – but you have to make the decision to do so!

Life Lessons #3: People say I plan too much – but in 2014, I learned and relearned, that without a plan, nothing gets accomplished. On the other hand, with a solid plan and solid action, the world can be yours. But listen, don’t get crazy – you can’t and don’t have to plan every second, but set some goals, think about what you want, and make it happen. Just like this…1, 2, 3…!

Life Lessons #4: Treat your happiness like it’s your job – work hard at it, put effort into it, commit to it – and stop waiting for other people to get it done for you, because they never will.

Life Lessons #5: If you are secure in who you are, no one can bring you down for long- so if you don’t know yourself quite yet, get to knowin’ right now!

Life Lessons #6: People will always try to tell you who you are, what to do, how to do it, and what choices to make – be patient with them and know yourself enough to nod politely, walk away peacefully, and then make your own decisions. Only you know what truly works for you – don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Life Lessons #7: When people question us and our characters, it hurts. Listen, take it in, re-evaluate, and take what makes sense while throwing out what doesn’t. Just because someone has an opinion, it doesn’t make it fact.

Life Lessons #8: Change is incredibly scary, but stagnation is death. Take some chances, risk something, make the change your life, mind, body and spirit crave – you’ll get through the scary stuff, I promise. But never going for it will always weigh on you. It might even kill you.

Life Lessons #9: There’s a lot of things in life we can control and many others that we simply cannot. Focus on what you can control, and stop beating yourself up about the things you can’t. You will be so much more at peace this way!

Life Lessons #10: Measure your life by the things that matter to you instead of constantly trying to live up to someone else’s definition – because try as you may, you never, ever will.

Life Lessons #11: When you go through something hard, share the lessons you’ve learned, share your wisdom – help someone else get through it a little faster or easier than you did. It’s cathartic, it’s good for the soul, and it puts healing out into the universe – you don’t have to be a writer to make a difference with your stories. Don’t be stingy – and share. It makes a huge difference!

Life Lessons #12: There’s something about turning 30 (at least for me) that makes you appreciate your parents more – understand them more, give them more credit, thank them more. Maybe it’s the realization that they won’t be here forever or having a deeper understanding of your own imperfections. Whatever it is – it’s a beautiful, beautiful place to be. Cherish it, and make sure to let them know how much you appreciate them.

Life Lessons #13: Your life is yours to make – so stay alert to all the people and things that try to divert you – because you will encounter about a bazillion, and never, ever forget it.

Life Lessons #14: Happiness is not about perfection – it’s about taking all of the many imperfections and working with them, around them and through them – declaring loudly, “You can’t stop me!”

That’s it for today, folks. Here’s to a 2015 filled with even more life lessons – and more good, more smiles, more love, more positive change, less bad, less frowns, less hate, and as little negativity as humanly possible – because, well, negativity is just YUCKY! That’s right – I said it – with the same disgust a toddler gives his broccoli – YUCKY!

Always keep your eyes open – those life lessons can be a little sneaky sometimes, but they’re there. Happy New Year ya’ll!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Get Inspired: 30 Life Lessons for Your 30s

30 Life Lessons for Your 30sThis year I turned 30, and that got me thinkin’ – thinkin’ a lot about what a different person I am (in a good way!) at 30 than I was throughout my 20s – especially in those painfully wisdom-less, self-esteem scarce early years. And then I thought who doesn’t love a good I-can-relate-to-that list?

So tell me. How many of these lessons can you relate to, or are still learning? Take this 30-layer trip with me, and let me know in the comments. And if you have a new lesson to share, please give it to me!

Now let’s get to it.

30 life lessons for your 30s #1: You can settle for less or you can wait for more. It’s up to you.

30 life lessons for your 30s #2: Where you come from doesn’t have to define where you go.

30 life lessons for your 30s #3: People make time for the things they care about. Excuses are just that. Excuses.

30 life lessons for your 30s #4: You can learn to derive joy from the smallest things – practice really makes perfect.

30 life lessons for your 30s #5: Being single is not a death sentence – it can actually be a blessing in many ways. Stop beating yourself up about it!

30 life lessons for your 30s #6: Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do for anybody else – you cannot give what you don’t have.

30 life lessons for your 30s #7: You will never feel like you have enough money – it’s OK!

30 life lessons for your 30s #8: There are no expiration dates on dreams – I’ve shared that one before, but it’s such a good one!

30 life lessons for your 30s #9: True love still very much exists. It’s just not as common or as easily attainable as people would like to believe.

30 life lessons for your 30s #10: Emotional abuse, no matter how big or small, is still abuse. And it’s absolutely not better or worse than physical abuse. It’s simply abuse. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

30 life lessons for your 30s #11: You CAN build the life you want – but you have to put in the effort.

30 life lessons for your 30s #12: Life is hard but life is also beautiful – focus a little more on the beautiful.

30 life lessons for your 30s #13: Inspiration is all around you – just open yourself up to seeing it.

30 life lessons for your 30s #14: There is extreme power in positivity, and there is extreme loss in negativity.

30 life lessons for your 30s #15: Being yourself is a whole lot less trouble than pretending to be otherwise. Fight for your right to be you no matter how many times that is questioned.

30 life lessons for your 30s #16: Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts – nurture it.

30 life lessons for your 30s #17: Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

30 life lessons for your 30s #18: You have to actively choose life. It will not just come to your doorstep.

30 life lessons for your 30s #19: Your struggles don’t have to win. Not unless you stop fighting.

30 life lessons for your 30s #20: A man or a woman cannot complete you. They can only compliment you. Strive to be complimented not completed.

30 life lessons for your 30s #21: There is always a positive way to say things – even the most negative things can be delivered with a positive twist.

30 life lessons for your 30s #22: A bad day, a bad week, a bad month or even a bad year does not equal a bad life.

30 life lessons for your 30s #23: If you’re always comfortable, you’re never growing. Get a little uncomfortable, will ya?

30 life lessons for your 30s #24: Your instincts are your body’s way of giving you important information about your surroundings. Pay attention!

30 life lessons for your 30s #25: Someone somewhere will always disagree with your choices, no matter what they are, so you might as well choose for you and try to be happy.

30 life lessons for your 30s #26: You will never be perfect, but you will always be special.

30 life lessons for your 30s #27: Be a light to others whenever possible – and watch a little more light come your way too.

30 life lessons for your 30s #28: Bullying doesn’t end in the playground. Be prepared to stand up to bullies throughout your life.

30 life lessons for your 30s #29: Struggle builds character – when you can’t seem to find any other light in your strife, focus on that.

30 life lessons for your 30s #30: Showing emotion isn’t a sign of weakness – it takes incredible strength to be vulnerable. Let yourself feel. The only weakness is in hiding.

Photo Credit © 72soul | Dreamstime.comSchool Life Concept. Photo

A Love Lesson: Thank You for Not Loving Me

Love LessonDear Eric,

Sometimes we want something so bad, that we shut our eyes, and we follow it blindly, even if we step on hot coals as we do it. We clutch on to it, and we don’t let go despite that frightening feeling in our guts telling us it’s slowly killing us.

It’s now been about eight months since we stopped dating, six since I’ve seen you, and about five since I’ve talked to you. Still, it has only been maybe a month or two since the weight of your memory on my mind, on my heart, and through my deep struggle to move forward after what I Iovingly like to call the Major Mind F**k of 2013 begun to lift.

To some people, our relationship or the major lack thereof, was not real. It was fake and disingenuous and forced. It had too many rules, and none of them worked in my favor. It’s hard for them to understand why it became so big for me, why it hurt me so much, and maybe even why I’m still talking about it today. And for the most part, they are right. On your side it was all of those things and less. But for me it was real. It was very real. Our weak, borderline abusive, unhealthy, pathetic time together is the closest thing I’ve had to a real relationship in a decade. It meant something to me. It meant everything to me. And when you pretended to love me, I believed you. I shared things with you and opened up to you romantically in a way that I had not done with anyone in my adult life. I opened my arms, and I said, “Here, take it. Take it all.” And you did. The problem is you gave me nothing in return.

During that entire year together I struggled with my feelings for what I came to know as a bad person. I struggled to look in the mirror and respect myself, because I knew very well that I was putting up with all of the things that go against everything I believe in, and everything I preach. I let you control me. I let you demean me. I let you disrespect me. And I let you do it over, and over again. Although it was never anything particularly huge, the sum of all the small ways in which you would devalue me and the love that I wholeheartedly offered to you even when you didn’t deserve it (and your rarely did), became much more than I could handle. I began to see your lies, the coldness in your eyes, and the emptiness in your heart. Still my stubborn heart loved you, and at times I thought I’d never find the strength to let you go.

I spent all of 2013 questioning. I questioned my worth. I questioned what I might be doing wrong to deserve your cold-hearted ways and your refusal to commit. I questioned whether the games were real, or simply in my head. I questioned my strength, and whether I would in fact end up settling for someone like you, even though it has been my life’s mission to never settle. I was so scared. The good thing is that, much to your surprise, I did finally find the strength to let you go. It took me a very long time, but I did it. I said I’d had enough, and I walked away. Sure I struggled to cut the cord completely at first, and I might have reached out many times when I shouldn’t have, but as the days and months went by, I felt like I could breathe again. I felt like myself for the first time since I met you, and I began to regain my confidence and my strength. I began to see that it had been your negativity that had brought me down, and that I still had it in me to be very much victorious. My only weakness had been loving you. I was not depressed. I was simply in a bad, soul-sucking relationship. There’s a huge difference.

After more tears than I’m proud of having shed, in the onset of 2014, I made a decision. I was going to live more life. I was going to give up dating for a while. I was going to seek out new adventures, make new friends, take trips, invest in me, regain my center and heal. And for the last six months, I have filled my calendar with musicals, volunteering, ballets, dinners and travel. I intentionally sought out friends, I made plans, I lived. I stopped waiting around for you or for anyone, and I LIVED. Some days I was so tired from all that living that I wondered if it was all worth it or if I was going too far with it. Would this work? Could I once again take control of the happiness I had slowly and painfully let you suck out of me?

Guess what? I could, and I did. Today, as I write this, I am healed. Your rejection and your pain pushed me to reevaluate my life, to get back to my dreams, and to remember, that although I do very much want and believe in love, marriage and children, I have never wanted to be the kind of woman who revolves her life around a man, especially around an unworthy one. I have always wanted my life to be a big adventure full of progress, success, friendship, experience and healthy relationships. I want a partner who can add to my life, and not one who constantly takes away from it. I want to share my life with someone as bright as me, so that together, our lights can shine even brighter and help others in the process. All you ever did was dim my light. For a while there, you damn near shut it off.

But now, I’m in a whole new, beautiful place in my life. Last week I moved to NYC, and this Monday I started my dream job as a writer helping to inspire young girls to have courage and be all they can be. What could be better than that?! The possibilities ahead are endless, and my adventure lives on in true Sonia fashion. I am healed. I am happy. I am ready to date and believe in love again. I am ready to never accept anything less than the treatment I deserve. I am ready to stand up for myself and to be firm. I am also ready to be soft, tender and open with someone who will be able to accept it and appreciate it. I am ready to believe again in the power inside of me, in my resilience, and in my ability to move forward into bigger and better. I am ready to be Sonia again; whole, happy and ready to take on the world.

The lessons your pain taught me are proving to be invaluable. They have made me stronger and better than ever, and they have pushed me into this amazing place where I sit right now; a place where I feel almost invincible. My breaths are deep, and my gratitude is big. I remember now. I DO have control over my happiness, and no one can take it away from me unless I let them.

So thank you, Eric. From the bottom of my now-whole heart, thank you for not loving me. You gave me the love lesson of a lifetime, and changed me forever in the best way possible.

The end.

Yours truly,
Sonia

The Hunger Games and the Gift of Hope

Hunger Games and the Gift of Hope

Last weekend, I watched The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Having never read the books (please hold your contempt :)), I had no idea what to expect as much as I didn’t know what to expect from the first movie. I must say I was thoroughly entertained even with my hands going up in my face half of the time to block the view of all the impending violence (I’m a scaredy-cat, what can I say?). But I was surprised at the thing that struck me most about the movie, and that I really didn’t expect to see in the development of this story; that is the overarching theme that fear only works so long as people lack the gift of hope. It’s such a simple, yet powerful message. Dontcha think?

I won’t attempt to summarize the movie, because I am sure most of you are familiar with the story or might be planning to go see the movie, read the books, or both. But just for some context, essentially the main character, Katniss Everdeen, through her strong and rebellious spirit, manages to give the gift of hope to a society that has been bogged down by the government-led fear tactics they have endured their entire lives. When the leader of this society, President Snow, starts to realize that Katniss has become a symbol of hope for his people, he begins to worry that his fear tactics will become increasingly unsuccessful, because fear only works when there is no hope. In other words, the gift hope is stronger than the threat of fear.

Those words really struck a chord in me, and I’ve been thinking about them ever since. Today, on Thanksgiving, I have to say that the thing I am definitely most thankful for in 2013 is the realization that the gift of hope in my heart really is and always will be stronger than any threat of fear in my mind. I have fought some demons this year, particularly in the shape of toxic people, but through the gift of hope, I was able to let go, and come out of it all stronger, more determined and more confident.

This year, I realized that I have enough belief in myself that I rather wait for the right things, than to accept the mediocre things that deplete instead of nourish my soul. I realized that no matter what is happening around me, I always have hope that tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year holds something spectacular for me and usually, little by little, it does. I realized that flowers always blossom out of just buds, that strength can be derived from pain, and that fear will never win, so long as I have the gift of hope with me.

So my point is, if you are not feeling too hopeful, I suggest you dig deep, because that little hope sucka is quite helpful, even when you’re dealing with the likes of President Snow! And when you find it, hold on to it, because it will save you and give you so much.

So, what are you most thankful for this year? Even if you don’t wish to share it, it’s definitely a worthwhile reflection. Just stop, take a deep breath and find a moment to be truly grateful for whatever that might be.

Happy Thanksgiving ya’ll!

Love,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Reaching 30: Growth Hurts Before it Heals

After the ending of my latest pseudo relationship, I swear I feel like I’ve just been through a war. Good news is, I survived and I’m much, much better for the experience. During 10, long, often bitterly unhappy months (I still managed to ride that sucker out kicking and screaming with my positivity and commitment to the big, HAPPY fight :)), I learned an immense amount about myself, the issues I still need to work through, what I want in a partner and what I am willing to accept, and in-turn, what is absolutely unacceptable to me in the realm of love and relationships, and well, in life.

I also learned that I am considerably stronger than I might think at times, and I bet if you dig a little, you will find that you are too. Sure, that situation bordered on emotionally abusive or perhaps it really was, but I walked away from it, and that is all that counts. I might have stuck around for longer than any of it ever deserved, but the whole time I continued to fight. The real problem was that the biggest battle existed between my heart and my logic. But in the end, and thank goodness, my logic won.

Now I’m in the process of straying away from beating myself up for participating in the whole crazy thing in the first place, and instead, focusing on all the lessons and renewed strength it has given me. You see, that is the thing about growth; it hurts like hell before it heals.

As more and more days go by since that last encounter, I’m beginning to feel more like myself than I have in months. My energy is up, my smile is making more frequent appearances on the Sonia show, and my heart feels about a billion pounds lighter. I find myself laughing more, breathing deeper, finding more things that I love to do, and doing them. Most importantly, I know now more than ever that I am not in fact desperate, and that I still do have hope that I will someday find the healthy, passionate, understanding, lasting love I crave and deserve, with the right person at the right time. Always focus on the outcomes, and not so much on what got you there. Pain often provides great revelations for us and our lives.

And, at times, as we get older, we wish we could be as carefree and consequence-free as we were or thought we were in our teenage years and early 20s. At least I do. But, as I sit here turning down the less-than-thrilling advances I’d gladly welcome just a few years ago, demanding more respect, nurturing my own needs, wants and dreams, and more and more frequently standing up for Sonia, I realize I’ll gladly leave my youth at the door. Because this place, where you know who you are and who you wish to become, where you rather have nothing than accept scraps, where instant gratification has been replaced by the hope in the bigger picture that awaits  – that is a much better place to be.

To everyone out there reaching their 30s as I am (it can be quite a transition I’m finding), when you think you used to be more fun, wilder, or more adventurous, you’re not by any means boring now, you’ve simply experienced growth. And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Breathe it in deep, and thank it for hurting so much in return for inner calm, peace of mind, and a stronger sense of self.

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie