Accepting and Working Through the Evolution of YOU

Where is my life going?As a highly solutions-based thinker and person, for a long time I thought that once I had it all figured out—who I was, where my issues stemmed from, and what I wanted out of life—that was it, and the rest of it was going to be cake. Ha! Then I turned 30, and subsequently 31, and realized, stubbornly and slowly, that life really is a journey, not a destination.

And with that realization has come an overwhelming need to shift gears a little, and move away (just a temporary step or two) from my accomplishment-obsessed mind to a kinder, gentler version of myself who allows herself more room to slow down, to reevaluate, to change and flex, and to adjust to new ideas, new feelings, and new needs.

Here’s the thing. Last year I thought I had every single last bit of it figured out. I felt unstoppable and invincible. Then relationships fell apart, my safety was compromised, and life got really messy, really fast. Everything that was going on around me (and it was a lot!) had a sneaky little way of making me reevaluate what really matters, including thinking more about basic needs I desperately needed to nurture and pay more attention to (and fast!). These tend to be those small, but critical things we all tend to take for granted in the midst of pushing full steam ahead toward dreams, keeping busy schedules, socializing, juggling, and well, living our lives to the fullest, as they say; things like rest, safety, and balance.

Soon, as the fog began to lift little by little, it became more and more clear to me. Sometimes you really just need to STOP. Give yourself the freedom to pause. Allow yourself to think. Every season in your life is not meant to be lived on a high. Some seasons are for learning, strengthening and shedding the old so that you can come out of the other side of struggle with something so good you couldn’t possibly have dreamed it up before.

Trust me, I know it’s hard. I literally have to talk myself down from that nagging urge to go, go, go all the time, but sometimes, when things start to fall apart, we have to listen to the universe, take a step (or two!) back, and let all the questions and doubts take a good, long swim so that the answers might have a fighting chance at rising to the surface and propelling us into the next adventure. Because you the more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Perhaps one of the most important things to remember through it all is that you do not lose your value in times of confusion and unrest; you do not stop being YOU. You do not stop being strong. You do not forsake all of the progress you’ve made and learning you’ve done until that point. There is positivity in the fight, in never giving up, in forging ahead through the pain, and keeping hope alive for another good (screw that—GREAT) season to come!

So if you find yourself just going THROUGH right now, take a deep breath, and accept that life is beautiful but life is also cyclical. Accept that you are ever-changing and evolving, and so is the life that surrounds us and lives within us. Work through it. Read a lot. Talk it through. Don’t give up on the puzzle just because you’re missing a few pieces, or you’re not sure how the big picture is going to pan out. Keep looking for joy in the small things, and trust that the answers will come. Most of all, just keep swimming!

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

My Funny, Sad Life Motivational Series: Book #2 Live on Amazon

Get Your Self-Love On! My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity I know, I know. Over the last few months, I’ve really left this poor blog terribly abandoned and lonely, but there’s a good reason for that! I’ve been working hard on my second book, and after a year filled with some of my greatest battles for authenticity, I am so excited and proud to present this great little be-you-love-you-flaunt-you handbook to the world!

Check it out!


(eBook and Paperback):

My Funny, Sad Life: Fighting for Authenticity
The Defiant Act of Being, Loving and Flaunting  Your True Self

***Please note the Kindle and Paperback versions are having a little trouble linking up right now, but they’re both on there, I promise. Just search Sonia Acosta on Amazon!***

DESCRIPTION: Part of the motivational series, My Funny, Sad Life, this handbook is your guide to finally putting your foot down, and being who you are, every single piece of it, openly and unapologetically, with great pride and intention, creating more happiness and fulfillment every step of the way. Full of tangible tips to help UP your self-love and confidence game, I take you through my journey to living authentically (and happily!), plus offer tips and tricks to help you on your own path to a more authentic, satisfying life. It’s a short read you can devour in one to two hours max, so pull up a chair, get comfy, grab a drink, and get ready to be INSPIRED to step into the exquisite defiance that is being, loving and flaunting your true self.

I just know you’ll love it! And trust me, this is not your everyday self-love/self-help book. There’s some real raw, tangible stuff to sink your teeth into here!

As always, your support is greatly and humbly appreciated. I hope you enjoy the journey, and find the inspiration to step up and live your own life more authentically and happily!

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Storytelling: The Struggle and the Power in Sharing Your Pain

Once Upon a Time...Let me tell you something, folks.

Writing and publishing an eBook about your ex isn’t exactly easy—big surprise there, I know! It took me about 8 months to write, edit and publish My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath, and it’s a relatively short read. Take a full time job and life, and add to that the struggle in typing your pain, detail by detail, memory by memory, beat by beat, and sometimes you end up having to walk away for a few days, maybe even a few weeks before you can even think about stepping back into all of it. Writing the intimate account of what transpired between me and the man who once broke me like no other, and now promoting the eBook, discussing it, and answering questions about it, at times, it takes the breath out of me (I love it though—this is truly my calling!). And still in every moment, I find something much more powerful than all of that struggle. I find healing, both for me and for others. I find meaning. I find new learning, new faith, and new strength.

Confession time! Last night, after working on some book promotions and being consumed by the topic, I had the super bright idea to check his (Eric’s, of course) Instagram—something I had not done since probably January. I scrolled and scrolled knowing that I was looking for trouble, and after about five or 10 minutes, I found it. That’s when I had to put the phone down, and walk away. I grabbed my jacket and headed to my stoop to collect my thoughts and just breathe in the silence. I’m not proud of that slip. BUT, for the first time since all of this mess transpired, I did not cry. I did not shed one, single tear. I did not panic. I did not feel any throbbing pain in my heart. Yes, I felt a little sadness and some uneasiness, but it was nothing compared to what plagued me in the past. And I think I know why. My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath has brought me new healing, and my struggle has brought me new power. I must say, this is a welcome change.

Now I know everyone is not a writer, and certainly everyone is not a mass sharer or storyteller like I am. But today, I want to encourage you to share your story, maybe not to hundreds of people, but to a close a friend, to a family member, to a therapist, to a confidant, maybe even just to yourself, out loud, into the universe and out of your chest. Please don’t let all of that stuff just swim around inside of you, poisoning your spirit, and injecting itself into your everyday potential for happiness and healing. Let it out! Share. Dig deep. Work through those feelings. Work through that story. Get intimate with your thoughts. Don’t pretend the sting isn’t there. Don’t want until it all explodes into one big, messy ball of anxiety and irreparable wounds.

Do it for you, and do it for others. Because although we all walk a distinct journey in life, we all go through many of the same things. We experience many of the same blows, many of the same tears, and many of the same joys. And every time I get a message, a tweet or a text (thank you for all of the LOVE!!) about how My Funny, Sad Life: I Once Loved a Sociopath helped someone find healing or new understanding, or even simply gave someone something to relate to and find comfort in, I see it all over again—there is so much power in sharing our stories and our struggle.

Regardless of the nature of your pain, there is so much we can learn from each other, so much aching we all have the potential to spare one another through our biggest missteps and lessons learned. And that is what I hope to continue to do as I lay my most intimate pain and triumphs into the pages of every My Funny, Sad Life eBook. Whether its depression, poverty, obesity, love, dating, toxic relationships, sexuality, career, or any other topic, I know that the pain and struggle in every word I type equates to a power much bigger and brighter and more meaningful than any sum of all that yucky stuff.

That’s why I share. To inspire. To open minds. To offer perspective. To create healing. That is why I lay it all out on the line. Because when I’m going through something, big or small, I know there is no bigger relief for me than to read about someone else’s experience and see how they were able to come out on the other side of the pain or struggle victorious and better than ever; to realize that if they survived and thrived, I can and I will, too.

Just consider the opportunity for a moment. Push through that struggle. Share that pain. Free yourself, and help the healing in the process—for you, for me, and for everyone.

With that said, I can’t wait to get out the next two eBooks which will be a little lighter and more fun (touching on authenticity and happiness), until we get back into the hard, hard stuff with the next round. =)

Sonia, Word Share Junkie