Truth on the Table: Staying True to Yourself

Staying True to YourselfWoo doggie! It’s shaping up to be a very busy week, and only getting busier. But no matter how busy I get, I can’t shake the itch to share at least a small morsel of wisdom with you each week, so today I will share some very special and almost life-changing advice I recently received. There’s a table, some people, a little conversation, and a lot of very important hold-on-to-your-truth action, and it goes a little something like this.

Each day we have numerous encounters with other people, at work, at home, and out in the world. In these daily interactions, there is often a lot of competing truths each trying to make their point. From this, a sort-of battle for energy ensues, where one person or group of people is usually trying to prove they’re right or make a point.

So envision this table I spoke of earlier. It is sitting there, right between you and whoever is on the other side of any particular interaction. During the interaction, that person or group of people will lay some stuff out on that table. This could be praises, judgments, ideas of what’s wrong and right in general, and what’s wrong and right about you, etc. Then, you are probably going to do the same, and lay your share of thoughts and beliefs out on that very same table for the opposing side.

And here’s where that hold-on-to-your-truth action comes in. This is where you have to realize that you are never obligated to accept everything that is placed upon that table for you, just as the other side is not obligated to do so. You can take the bits and pieces that make sense to you and align with your particular truth, and leave the rest. In other words, you never have to accept what others think of you. You know who you are, what you believe in, and what makes sense for you and your life, a.k.a. your truth, and that is the only thing that really matters. That is what you have to be loyal to, always. That’s if you want any real chance at some delicious HAPPY, of course.

If we were to let every interaction we come across make us question our truth, or even worse, attempt to change it, we’d be left miserable and completely unsatisfied in a pursuit to constantly be approved by everyone else (practically impossible), instead of by the person who matters most to your general well-being, YOU.

And that’s what I have for ya today. Wasn’t that short, sweet, and things-that-make-you-go-hmm-tastic? I thought so. Have a positively positive week, and remember staying true to yourself is always the way to go!

Love,
Sonia, Word Share Junkie

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Settle & Die (Inside)

How Alive Are You?

OK, so maybe my headline is a little drastic, but you get where I’m going with this. When you settle in life, whether it’s in relationships, in your career, your family life, where you live, your friends, or anything else, you start to die inside a little. You know in your gut the current situation is not making you happy anymore,  you know it’s not enough for you, you know you deserve better, but you stick around, because let’s be honest, that just seems easier. But is it really? In the end, settling for less than what you want or deserve out of life is so much harder. Like SO much harder!

The pain of giving something up that you love, have become accustomed to or are just comfortable with will fade and pass with time, just like everything tends to do in this life. But the pain of holding on, of giving up on yourself, of sitting down and shutting up, will most certainly haunt you forever. It will just build up in the pit of your stomach, churnin’ and grumblin’, until your soul starts to disintegrate piece by piece. And while, on the outside, you might very well seem alive and well, on the inside, where it really counts, you will feel like you’re not really living at all.

So today, I urge you, let go of the comfort, let go of the things or people in your life that make you unhappy, and make room for the things and people you really want, for the love you deserve, the job of your dreams, the life you envision for yourself. Don’t get to the end with a heart full of regrets. Instead, travel your journey with the peace of mind that you have given it your all, that you said, “No,” when it just wasn’t enough, and that you are giving yourself every chance to really live and be HAPPY.

For me this is still quite the little tumultuous battle, but through all of the mental, emotional and spiritual growth I have experienced in the last few years, I have felt the immense benefits time and time again. Once the ouchy fades, I can stand tall and proud, knowing I work every day to do the best I can for myself, to advocate for Sonia, to support her, to demand what she deserves, and I’m much healthier and happier for it. Won’t you do the same for yourself?

With love and hope,

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Never Back Down from a Worthy Fight

Megaphone announcement

 

What follows is my friendly reminder, and your very special Word Share Junkie public service announcement for this week. Please pay ATTENTION, and enjoy!

I always say I’m a lover and not a fighter, and that’s true, but there are some fist-less battles that are worthy of a fight, and one in particular that I will never back down from. I am talking about the fight to be yourself, live your life the way you see fit, and obtain unequivocal, delicious happiness, whether others agree with your methods or not. As long as you are not hurting anyone, no one has the right to tell you who to be, how to act, who to love, or how to live your life. How many times do I have to say this? Apparently, a lot!

This weekend I was reminded of this very important life-long battle by someone who takes every opportunity to take a dig at me or let me know that who I am is wrong. I’m talking about everything from my lipstick to the way I talk. And at first, I was very upset by this, but then I came back to my Super Woman senses, and realized, hey, I love who I am. I am a good person. I am living a positive life surrounded by a lot of wonderful people who really see me and accept me, and I’m just trying to do my very best to live happily and productively. I am merely trying to take the lessons of my past and turn them around into something positive that I can be proud of and then share with others to hopefully help them achieve their HAPPY. Amidst tears, I quickly had to remind myself that this kind of constant bash treatment I experienced is nothing more than projected insecurities and should never, no matter how incredibly difficult it is, be taken personally.

Again, as long as you are not hurting anyone, stick to your guns like gum to a shoe, and continue to be YOU, in every situation, under every circumstance. Define your happiness in whatever way seems right to you, and chase it. Because the truth is that no matter what you do, people who are against you or generally negative will always find a way to judge you and try to put you down. It’s simple though. They can never win unless you let them.

Some battles are not really worth your energy, and you can’t go around trying to be a super hero about every little thing. But, when it comes to your right to be you and live happily, you better fight like hell. Because when it’s all over, if you lived your life based on others’ judgments and expectations, you will have not lived at all.

And guess what? The best part is that this whole weekend ordeal actually helped me get a little bit closer to really nailing down how I want to go about my in-the-works book My Funny, Sad Life. I know now that I will make it a series of shorter books, with each one focusing on one particular topic to help others reach their full potential and live a happy life. Book #1 in the series?

My Funny, Sad Life. Fighting for Authenticity in an Unoriginal World. 

Well I’m still working on that title, but you get the gist. So thanks hate! You only continue to strengthen my resolve and propel me forward into my dreams. 🙂

Sonia, Word Share Junkie

Everybody Needs a Fan Club

In my last few sessions with my therapist I’ve been talking a lot about my blog, my book and my dreams of becoming a motivational speaker one day (let’s be real – we could all use a little workin’ on by a professional once in a while). I’ve also talked a lot about a recent breakup that affected me much more than you’d ever think a two-month pseudo boyfriend would, and a nasty email I received from an ex co-worker a few weeks ago. And from this emerged a conversation around the importance of working to build a community of support for yourself.

So what do I mean when I talk about building a community of support? Well, this is something that I believe I’ve been working on for years now, but my therapist really wrapped it up in a nice bow for me. Building a community of support means surrounding yourself with people who just plain get you, people who support you, understand where you’re coming from, and serve as a mirror for your truth. It also means shutting people and situations out that perceive you incorrectly, do not want the best for you, or just don’t get it. This doesn’t mean you should surround yourself with a herd of clones. Please, never, ever do that! It just means surrounding yourself with people who can be themselves and allow you to do the same in a welcoming, and loving environment.

Sometimes when people say nasty things to us, break up with us, use their words and actions to bring us down, we tend to start wondering, wait, are they right? Am I this person they make me out to seem? Do I deserve this? And in a lot of cases, the answer is a big fat NO. A lot of times it’s a matter of people projecting their own insecurities on you, and sometimes it’s not evil, but just plain misunderstanding – like a puzzle piece that just doesn’t fit. That is why it’s so important to discover your truth, and stick to it. Do not let people’s comments, criticisms, rejection, pokes and punches allow you to forget or discount who you know in your heart you really are.

For me, I pride myself on being a consistent person. I think most people that know me, and I mean really know me, would say they pretty much get the same Sonia across any situation with few surprises. I also pride myself on being genuine, and being as transparent as possible even when the response might not be entirely positive. I am optimistic and solutions-based instead of focusing on the negative or the problem. Although I might very well hurt others sometimes (don’t we all), I never do it intentionally, and I’m always more than willing to say, “I’m sorry.” I consider myself a pretty nice, smart, reliable and fun person – although just a bit neurotic sometimes, but hey, I like to keep it interesting. I work hard, but I also play hard. I’m a dream chaser, an achievement junkie, and the biggest, most hopeless romantic you’ve ever met in your life. I have a lot of great qualities, but I’m also majorly flawed, very self-aware, and always working to be just a little bit better. That is my truth. It is the Sonia I know and love.

My point is that not everyone sees that Sonia. There are people out there who might think I’m the total opposite of what I’ve just described, people who just don’t get me, and don’t understand where I’m coming from or where I’m trying to go. The message here is that’s OK. It’s life, simple as that. What I have learned throughout my journey to HAPPY and with reassurance from the good ol’ doc, is that our focus must be on building a community for ourselves that is supportive, that gets it, and that sees our truth as we see it. And to everyone else? Bye bye suckas! What was #1 in 6 ways to self counsel?

“You are SONIA. This situation does not define you. These people do not define you. You are smart. You are capable, and you can do anything.”

That’s right. How many times have I already mentioned fighting that good fight? Well this is yet another instance of that. Being happy, centered and living a positive life does not just happen my friends. It takes work, dedication, and sometimes a little blood, sweat and many, many tears – but it’s SO incredibly worth it. So if you trust your truth with all your gut, stick to it proudly, build your community of support, and close the door on those that simply do not fit. Your happiness is your job, not theirs. Take it out of their hands, and firmly into your own.

Sonia, Word Share Junkie